Shower Gel Hell
I want shower gel the way it used to be: functional, soapy, effective. But this is not how modern shower gel is, is it? No, today there is something very, very wrong with it. What’s wrong with it? I’ll tell you in this short story.
I had had a very hard night and couldn’t remember much when I awoke. The thought of a shower made my skin crawl, but I fought the temptation to go to work stinking and mank, and jumped (or crawled) in. The water began to hit me and I was away.
Once in the shower I began to wash, as would be expected. This is when the story takes a perverse and seedy turn–
I began to pump the shower-gel in to my hands and wash, and that was when it started. The strange sensation bequeathed by the fragrant lemon smell–and so I did what any sane person would do upon smelling something edible. I put my hand to my mouth and I ate the shower-gel out of my hand. Then I screamed “What did I do!?”
Fortunately I didn’t eat much, but there was enough that it tasted as though I had been force-fed the zest of exactly one-million lemons all at once. I stumbled from the shower drunk on this terrible feeling and washed my mouth out at the sink, swearing and sweating and like a mad man gone madder. That was when I realized that I had been tricked into eating this vile stuff, all because it smelt good. It was wrong!
Here’s my point: things which you can’t eat shouldn’t smell and feel as though you can eat them. This also goes for other bathroom accessories like reed diffusers, just don’t eat them! I don’t think that’s too extreme a view-point to have. I am just a regular man who wants regular soap that’s all. Is this too much to ask?