I have a cold and I hate colds: I think I’d rather suffer Face lift surgery . Actually it’s a bit more than a cold: I’ve been in bed half the day for four days running, and whenever I try to walk it feels as though the house is swaying on the waves like a great ship in a storm. So I went to the doctor. My expectations were not high: I hoped she would listen to my chest, prescribe More
Archive for March, 2010
The common cold. Easily one of the cruelest of every-day illnesses: it doesn’t care you’ve been working hard all day and are absolutely shattered. It doesn’t concern itself with the fact that you’re shattered and all you need is a nice long sleep. All it wants out of its sordid little life-span is to make you miserable as hell personified, and it rarely fails to succeed there. Take me for example: right now as I type this I am at More
I want shower gel the way it used to be: functional, soapy, effective. But this is not how modern shower gel is, is it? No, today there is something very, very wrong with it. What’s wrong with it? I’ll tell you in this short story.
I had had a very hard night and couldn’t remember much when I awoke. The thought of a shower made my skin crawl, but I fought the temptation to go to work stinking and mank, More
Life will always throw you a curve ball, even when things are going perfectly. It is imperative to approach every crisis with a positive frame of mind. This is the only way to successfully come out of a difficult situation. Even in the worst crisis there is always something worse. Perhaps you have lost your job. Well, at least you’re not dead. At least you still have your health. At least you still have food. This is an extreme example, More
The right-handed people of this world have it good. How good? Well, it couldn’t be any better for them to be honest, that’s for certain. Here are just a few reasons why being right handed is preferable:
1) Supermarkets are DESIGNED for you. This is both good and bad. It’s good because you can find everything very easily, as everything good tends to be on the right hand side, and it’s bad because all the chocolates and other fattening things More
Life can be weird, can’t it? One day you’re all alone, miserable, convinced you’ll never meet anyone, and the next something unbelievable and odd can happen, turning your world upside-down. One single click of the mouse can transform your life. Little do you know at that moment that nothing will ever be the same again.
I don’t usually go in for online dating, for the same reasons that you wouldn’t take your shoes off before running through broken glass: because More
Pride People, PRIDE!
People in the UK love a good moan more than any other people. Why? Beats me. I know we have the financial abilities of a lame ten year old, but what about all the good stuff? Tea is one of the paramount things we should appreciate more. In some countries, you see, such as In Germany, it’s easier to acquire a rare Taiwanese bird-of-prey than a decent cup of black tea. Europe may be expert when it comes to coffee More
As a child I was very small, almost feral looking. My hair was the wiry dispicable kind that even a mother can’t love, not really. I lived in a house like everyone else did, a house with a roof and running water, but still, for some reason puberty got pretty confused. It didn’t know which way it wanted to turn. Some days it wanted me to become a regular human man, but some days it wanted something different. I got More